"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Bobbing along in Poetry Jam

Absence from the country and other reasons means I have not been able to board the jar of Poetry Jam of late, though I've been concentrating on yet another little project, so my output has not diminished.
However, the photo of the very lovely Dana Bug (above) in a swimsuit has enticed me to dive in headfirst. Her prompt is to write something about swimming, which is fortuitously one of the few things I can do with a reasonable degree of proficiency. This bit of doggerel relates to a holiday in Majorca six years ago when it seemed everybody on the island decided to visit our pool at the same time.
For much more buoyant responses, check out the Jam

Bobbing Along

Every single tourist in Mallorca
Has come down to our complex to get cool.
The weather had been forecast as a corker,
And there’s only room to stand up in the pool.

We’re bobbing up and down in it together,
Sardines would claim that it is very cruel.
At least we’re mostly out the burning weather
But there’s only room to stand up in the pool.

No opportunity to practise swimming,
I think it’s horizontal, as a rule.
But Lord above, it’s well and truly brimmin’,
And there’s only room to stand up in the pool.

The rest of this whole island is deserted
With weather that would make a camel drool,
The lifeguards at their stations were alerted,
But all of them are standing in our pool.

One chappie’s poolside, standing in a fever,
Naturally he feels a silly fool,
We tried to wedge him in with someone’s lever,
But there’s no more room to stand up in our pool.


  1. I love the whimsy of the image of a lever wedging someone in...

  2. Fun for me to enjoy your poetic wits again, Peter. My personal favorite is the the droll "I think it's horizontal, as a rule." Best of wishes on your project.

  3. ha, that's cool :D I like picturing it in my head - someone could draw it. Like those guys in the New Yorker, whoever they are.

  4. I love this! With my swimming skills, standing in a pool surrounded by people would help keep me alive!

  5. This is great. And what's funny is that the picture of me above is after my very first snorkeling experience where there were so many other tourists that I couldn't manage to actually snorkel without getting a snootful. It was my last snorkeling experience too :)

  6. haha this is a delight toread...you must have been at the pool i was at on memorial day, dont know if we could have levered another in...smiles.

  7. This really made me smile. I can see it all so clearly.

  8. Funny how you always become the most popular person for miles around if you have a pool and it's really hot outside! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  9. I can see all the vertical sardines now.

  10. Peter- I really enjoyed reading this... especially the second stanza.

    Oh, and BFF means "best friends forever." Thanks for visiting my blog.

  11. Super! I like the horizontal as a rule.