"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Titus Animal Magic Poetry Bus

Okay, this week the bus is being driven by the rampaging Titus, who asked us to give our poetical opinions on one of a select list of animals which may be found here. Seeing as the harrier appears to have been largely ignored by all and sundry, probably due to its unremarkableness, I have been drawn to him and indeed, research has shown that this is a truly amazing dog. (Much better takes on the prompts may be gleaned here)

A harrier am I

I am a medium-sized short-haired dog,
smaller than a foxhound,
bigger than a beagle,
not remarkable in any way.
My tail is not too long and not too short,
kind of average really.
Sometimes I am white, sometimes brown, sometimes black.
Or any combination of the above.

Got you interested yet? No?

Okay. With one thrust of my legs,
I can launch myself vertically
five hundred feet in the air
and then explode over fields and woodland
at a speed of 700mph.

Sure scares the shit out of those hares.


  1. Great last line! And I meant to congratulate you on your strokestown success! Well done! hope to get down there!

  2. You won? You won? Yay, I'll go an check in minute.

    But the poem's great! And has a kind of bird-dog feel. It'll work, trust me. Can I have it? For the book?

    I never understood that song.

  3. Oh, not yet. Well done on the shortlisting!

  4. Big smile on my face ... you put it there!

  5. I cackled at this one - I'll have to read it to Dr. M, whose father raised beagles for a while (rackety dogs).

  6. This made me laugh so hard Hubby just called me to dinner for the second time. :)

    Nicely done!

  7. I was interested. Even before, honest! No need to show off! (Great post.)

  8. He's some dog for one dog, great poem Peter and congrats on shortlisting as well.

  9. It does indeed scare the S*** out of whomever they choose to chase! Good one thanks!

  10. Thanks Niamh - be great if you could make it!
    Hi Titus - yes, a bird-dog. I knew that (he said sheepishly) And yes, you can take everything I have.
    Thanks Helen - you should see him go
    Hi Bug - bet he never raised them 500 feet in the air
    Hope - come on, dinner is far more important!
    Dave - what's the point in having aeronautical ability if you can't show off?
    Hi Socks - he certainly is, isn't he?
    Izzy - yes, I'd hate to be a hare

  11. Yes yes, PG! But can he hover?
    (THanks for kind comments on mine)

  12. Brilliant! A jet propelled dog! LOL

  13. awwwwwww... yes I am interested, and the last line was frosting on the cake !

    cheers, parsnip

  14. My problem here, PG, is that I don't know enough about dogs to identify his breed. So I can't be sure how the harrier metaphor fits.

    PS You will not believe this, and I KID YOU NOT. THe verification word is REHEATE.

  15. Hi Lucy, no I'm not a dog person either. Had to look him up and hence the photo above.
    Nothing very deep about the metaphor, I'm afraid. The breed is called a harrier. A Harrier Jump Jet is a plane that has vertical take-off. That's about it really!
    D'oub - many thanks
    Dr FTSE - I daresay he can, but only in private, when nobody's looking
    Jinksy - saves you bringing him for walks
    Parsnip - many thanks

  16. Ha-HA! Love it! Big bang finish is great - had my mind up in the air and on the chase (and I don't even like hunting).

    Forgive me, but I thought a harrier was a hawk. Good thing I didn't write about it, eh?


  17. Loving the finish. I saw a harrier jump jet once. Truly scary. You should be renamed the staggering poet.

  18. I bet it does scare them. Would scare me, too! If there's a Harrier Hawk hovering above the Harrier Dog, who wins?