"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Friday, June 18, 2010

World Cup 2010 - Day 7

Argentina 4 South Korea 1 (Group B)

Goals, goals, goals.
Goals, goals, goals.
Great goals, scrappy goals,
Late goals and happy goals,
Goals that nearly blind you with their splendour.
Own goals, headed goals,
Very neatly threaded goals,
Goals to chill the heart of each defender.

South Koreans taken to the the cleaners.
Have you seen such goals as Argentina’s,

Quick goals, jammy goals,
Double-triple whammy goals,
Goals to set the World Cup blazing brightly.
Bad goals, cracking goals,
Great counter-attacking goals,
Goals that merely dribble in contritely.

Messi couldn’t finish off his good work,
Curled it but it came back off the woodwork
(Thought it would work)

Goals, goals, goals.
Goals, goals, goals.
Goals, goals, goals.
Goals, goals.

Greece 2 Nigeria 1 (Group B)

This didn’t look inspiring
And the garden badly needed some attention.
So soon I was perspiring,
Regretting my impulsive match abstention.
The mower kept on clogging
With dandelions that beggared comprehension.
Dead horses I was flogging,
And all the while the match was gaining tension.

From back in the interior,
My wife reported that the match was brilliant.
She’d money on Nigeria,
A man sent off but still they looked resilient.
The Greeks though were superior,
As minutes ticked away, resolve was hardening.
As I hacked at the wisteria,
I rued my rash decision to go gardening.

France 0 Mexico 2 (Group A)

Some folk were amazed
That the flag wasn’t raised
When Hernandez escaped the blue tide.
With the French aggravated,
The linesman was slated
For keeping said flag by his side.

But in Ireland, at least,
With great laughter we creased
At the howls of dissent from the bench.
He looked onside to us,
But then anyone does
Who can stick one away ‘gainst the French.


  1. Lol! Wisteria! and the french onside line... Brilliant.