This week's Poetry Bus is being driven by the enigmatically-named 120 Socks, who gave us three prompts here to enable us to purchase tickets. I decided to go for the second prompt, "The last time I was there..." and went for a terzanelle, as I hadn't attempted one in a while.Please check out the tickets of the other Poetry Bus riders here and feel free to comment on their validity. Or why not hop aboard yourself?
The last time I was there
The last time I was there, it really saddened me
that they had shrugged their shoulders and accepted it –
the inertia of humanity had maddened me.
Some claimed perhaps they should have intercepted it
and tried to blow that comet off trajectory
but most just shrugged their shoulders and accepted it.
The ballot, as announced, was ex-directory.
Rigged, of course, but still there was no clamour
to blow that lethal comet off trajectory.
Did they roam the streets with axe and hammer
as the airlift blew its smoke upon the doomed?
Twigged, of course, but still there was no clamour
as the rich flew off as the Day of Judgement loomed
with me a tiny stowaway in the hold.
I watched the plumes of smoke blot out the doomed
and noted the meek acceptance of the old.
The last time I was there, yes, it had saddened me
but more, though just a stowaway in the hold,
the inertia of humanity had maddened me.
I loved the emotion and the flow of this poem, it hooked me right from the very beginning, and especially the line 'as the rich flew off as the Day of Judgement loomed with me a tiny stowaway in the hold.' Splendid!
ReplyDeleteA terzanelle? I was wondering, what the feckin hell?
ReplyDeleteAnd now I know.Thoughtful one this Pete, I like it.
I am smitten with and moved by your poem. "The inertia of humanity had maddened me" is a marvelous line, a quotable quote. This is so powerful a poem that I am blown away! (pun intended)
ReplyDeletereally interesting take on this one Peter... a real story to it, with a satisfying conclusion
ReplyDeleteWe really are so apathetic. I have a lot of activist friends, but I mostly just read their stuff & go back to my little life. I wonder if I'd even have the wherewithal to stow away?
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done, Peter. Form and story perfectly matched, and the repetition of 'The last time I was there' has that terrible poignancy at the end.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you draped so much across the form-
ReplyDeletecomets and mankind's madness. Well done, thanks.
What;s to say except . . . excellent work.
ReplyDeleteA fine job you have done, that is for sure
ReplyDeleteI love the form, although I've yet to try it,
Can't say I know of an inertia cure,
I've no clue where you were, I can't deny it.
Kat
A comet comment - brilliant. Well done both in form and expressson. And truth be said, inertia is the problem. The only things moving at full speed lately seem to be warheads and Sarah Palin. And that's sadder.
ReplyDeleteForm and fashion flow - fantastic! LOL
ReplyDelete