"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Report card 2010

I suppose the year end / year start is the traditional time for looking back at your achievements and failures of the previous year, so in a creative contest this is mine -

Gort Limerick commended in Leaf Books Teeny Weeny competition
My Typhoo Tea cards won the Lighten Up Online competition #8
Revenge on the French and They dissected my poo on the telly both finalists in the Strokestown Percy French Humorous Verse competition
Jennings and the Whale highly commended in the above competition
Lament for the Lagan Canal commended in the Lagan Canal Trust Fund poetry competition
Words of love won the Golden Pen poetry competition
If won the Lighten Up Online competition #9
Queen was commended in the Millcove Gallery Poets meet painters competition
Hard Rain was shortlisted in the Boyne Writers Swift Satire competition
Marta Becket at the Amargosa Opera House was highly commended in the Castlecomer Black Diamond poetry prize
Death of a sculptor was commended (along with many thousands more) in the Margaret Reid poetry competition for traditional verse
In Flanders Field was commended in the Lighten Up Online competition #10
Building block of the future? won 2nd place in the Helen Schaible Sonnet contest
Bryce Canyon was highly commended in the Poetry Space competition
A meeting with Athens won the Tapestry of Bronze poetry competition
Gone was commended in the October Lucidity Poetry Contest
The derailment of the Ireland Express got unofficial 4th Prize in the Baffle Poetry Contest
A recessionary Christmas was commended in the Lighten Up Online competition #11
Christmas at the Blanchardstown Shopping Centre won the Chris Meredith Christmas poetry competition


  • Michalis Tzouganakis on Souda Beach was published in Revival 15
  • The Song of Lugnad was published in Crannog 24
  • In praise of magnolia was published in Abridged
  • Satisfaction was published in Lighten Up Online 10
  • Queen was published in the Millcove Gallery Poets meet painters magazine
  • False accusations was published in the Stony Thursday Book
  • Fat kid in the restaurant was published in Lighten Up Online 11
  • Opprobrium, Yet another council meeting and Wasting energy published on the Baffle site
  • Dachstein ice cave, Miracle of nature, The eel poem, Math and Acne were all published on the Electronic Poetry Network and libraries in Shreveport, Louisiana
  • 10D was published in the Poetry Bus Magazine #1
  • Parallel lines, 9 is a magic number and Who are these x and y and z were all selected by South Pacific Press for publication in a US mathematics text book
  • Little robin redbreast and Bird shop were published in Lighten Up Online 12
  • An unfortunate sequence of events will be published in The Shit Creek Review #15


  • Selected for the Poetry Ireland Introductions series 2010 and read at the Irish Writers Centre
  • The Six Gifts of Womanhood, Poems and Stories from the arse end of the year, The History of the Republic of Ireland football team 1928 - 2010, The World Cup 2006 in verse, the World Cup 2010 in verse, Shelbourne's European Cup Run 2004 and Terry Mancini's Arse and 238 other comic football poems (together with two non-poetry books - The Complete Community Voice Musings 2003-2010 and The Complete Shelbourne Matchday Programme Articles 2008 - 2010) all self-published on Lulu.
  • Two chapbooks, Newgrange me arse (humour) and On Jackson's Bridge Lock (serious), self-published

Must try harder

  • Not listed in the Greg O'Donohue Prize
  • Not selected for The Stinging Fly
  • Failed to submit for Boyne Berries
  • Not listed in Strokestown Main Poetry prize
  • Not successful in any Southword submissions
  • Not listed in Windows Cavan Crystal competition
  • Not listed in the David Burland Poetry Prize
  • Not listed in the Edwin Morgan Poetry competition, the Welsh Poetry competition, the Hawkswell iYeats competition, the Poetry Society NZ competition, the Bridport, the Plough, Picador, Over the Edge, Poet of Fingal, Dromineer Literary Festival, Patrick Kavanagh awards, Basil Bunting and Francis Ledwidge poetry competitions, nor a host of smaller competitions too numerous to mention.
  • The amount of poetry readings attended was pitiful.
  • The amount of public readings performed was equally as pitiful.


  1. Wow, that's an impressive haul for a years work.

    Well done - serious clap on the back for you sir. Sounds like you're doing ok.

  2. OH YES .... impressive indeed!

  3. Peter, that's an impressive list of achievements. "Failed miserably" me arse! Good luck in 2011!.

  4. Bloody Hell! I'm doffing like mad here. You should actually be called The Industrious Poet.

  5. The Prolific Poet is my vote. Very well done!

    Now, if you're so keen to get me sending mine off, will you send me instructions on the process, as that is what holds me back most of all, I think. I like the writing bit, but the business end of it seems rather daunting.


  6. Holy god what am I doing with my time at all, at all?!

    Well done. A good years work:)

    All the best for 2011 from
    lazy arse

  7. Niamh - You're full of it! Your roster puts me to shame. I say, it puts me to shame. (*channeling Foghorn Leghorn for some reason)