I managed to scab a Metro in the canteen. It only had one short news snippet, so my choice was somewhat limited -
"Police arrest rhino poachers"
Two alleged rhino poachers have been arrested in South Africa's Kruger National Park. The poachers were allegedly found in possession of rhino horns, a source said.
I’m sitting in this cell with paranoia,
accused, by all accounts, of rhino poaching.
They haven’t even given me a lawyer
and the date set for my case is fast approaching.
I’ve no idea what sentence they’re demanding –
it could be firing squad, as far as I know!
Somewhat harsh, as to my understanding,
I’m sure there’s no such crime as poaching rhino.
Okay, it was a culin’ry disaster.
(Worse by far if we had gone and killed it)
Honestly, it went quite well with pasta,
but, looking back, perhaps we should have grilled it.