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Meanwhile, prospective passengers are scratching their heads, comparing tickets and wondering what kind of bumpy ride we're in for. I opted to go for the happiness option...
My wife was ensconced in the kitchen,
Preparing the food as required,
When she slipped on a rogue slice of onion,
Walloped her head and expired.
I admit I was quite disappointed
That she died with abruptness and violence,
For I had to finish the dinner myself.
But oh, what a beautiful silence!
For thirty five years we’d been married
And I’d taken it all on the chin.
We’d never had a single argument for
I never could get a word in.
I dream of her face in the night time,
The way that her hips used to wiggle.
And sometimes it all gets too much for me,
And I simply just break down and giggle.
The pawnbroker’s got all her jewellery,
And I got a job lot on her shoes.
I got offers for all her fine dresses,
Sure, it would have looked bad to refuse.
I’m surprised just how well I am coping -
With all of the pain and fatigue
And I wish I could go to the funeral, but
We’re playing Finn Harps in the League.
Now I'm going to make sure that aquatic feline is still firmly trussed up in my cellar...
Mark this as one to be read at a funeral.
ReplyDeletegood one
dark Peter, very dark
ReplyDeleteLauging my socks off, Peter!
ReplyDeleteDear Peter Rollicking jocularity which is frantically so funnily HILARIOUS! Loved it! Cant go because your playing Finn's Harp in the Leauge - completely understandable!
ReplyDeleteWicked! LOL :)
ReplyDeleteI always look forward to your poems – especially because I can never remember that you’re not ever SERIOUS. I always get taken in by your solemn intro.
ReplyDeleteOMG ~ this is hysterical!
ReplyDeleteReally funny Pete, so many good tight lines/rhymes.A class act.
ReplyDeleteThough I must confess it would be a toss-up between a funeral and watching Finn Harps,nothing much in it.
Peter, I'm speechless. That incredible photo! That hysterical first stanza! God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments, though I think its quite bizarre to be laughing at my sad loss.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for comforting me in my loss.
ReplyDeleteKat - Finn Harps is a football team from Donegal that we play League (and occasuionally Cup) matches against.