"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Poem # 2 for Paddy's Day

(Sarcastic? Moi?)

The St Patrick’s Day exodus

As they soar through the air
To those shores far and fair,
Oh let us not question the wherefores!
Let us honour them roundly
And toast them all soundly,
With a fly-past from Ireland’s famed airforce.

Do not call it a junket!
‘Tis a myth! Let’s debunk it.
They are not flying off for enjoyment.
It’s a task to be done
To fly off to the sun,
A strategic, political deployment.

For a five star hotel
Can at times be sheer hell,
A veritable purgatory when you
Find yourself far away
From the issues of the day
With nothing to read but a menu.

And the vats of champagne
Do not lessen the pain
Of their selfless but lonely devotion
To promoting our cause
To the dignified bores
Who never show too much emotion.

Oh let’s not be spiteful
Or nasty or frightful
And claim that their morals are iffy.
For they’ll certainly tell us
That we’re all just jealous,
Stuck at home with the freezing grey Liffey.

Our economy’s wrecked
And the country is fecked
But we really should come to our senses.
Why condemn politicians
On their Paddy’s Day missions
For daring to claim their expenses?

Flying out to the sun,
Some might see as great fun
And oftentimes may misconstrue it.
It may cost a few bob
But it’s a tough thankless job -
A blessing on those that would do it.

Yes, its money well spent
And wherever they’re sent
I’m sure they will well represent us.
Oh a shame on you cynics
In your sarcasm clinics.
Get back to your local Job Centres!


  1. Did you photoshop in that marijuana? I like the poem, but the photo confused me.

    "Purgatory" is a problem for me as we pronounce it PurgaTORy, whereas you blend that last syllable into TREE, don't you?

    I liked the Liffey line and the last verse is great!


  2. Ne'er the touch of sarcasm, only the biting o' wit! I'd read the menu and be more than quite fully satisfied, being a canuck seeing as i'm semi-illiterate!(this doesnt rhyme but it should).Funny poem Peter! Fun to see how you view the potted antics of these antiquarian politicians!No complainin' now in poetical menu; make mine stout, I am cutting my teeth here! I'll be reborn Irish yet!

  3. Ah, politicians.God bless them ,aren't they selfless wonderful creatures altogether.

  4. Lovely poem, you've expressed this so beautifully :)

  5. Hi Kat, yes I can see purgatory as a problem. Perhaps I'll change it to purgat'ry to emphasise it. Think veritable has one too many syllables too!
    Hi Chic - to be truly Irish you had to get fluthered by 3pm yesterday afternoon and then spend the rest of the day urinating and vomiting in the street.
    TFE, yes, selfless is the word, all right!