"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The red car

The red car thundered past the line of traffic,
Roaring down the bus lane with disdain.
My language got extremely coarse and graphic,
Wishing on the driver dreadful pain.

Why can’t people sit in queues, I wondered?
And why do they but rarely meet a Gard?
This I pondered, as the red car thundered
Down the bus lane, throttle pressed down hard.

And then I wondered if I’d always blundered,
Obeying stupid laws that weren’t enforced.
I’d bet the sod in that red car (that thundered
Down the bus lane) drove round unendorsed.

I swung into the bus lane autostrada,
Engine screeching, rubber burning tar,
Only to be pulled up by a Garda,
Stepping grimly out of his red car.
Written to book my ticket on TFE's poetry bus - http://totalfeckineejit.blogspot.com/2010/01/poetry-bus-and-prizes.html I'm imagining Seamus Heaney reading this and banging his computer desk, yelling "Darn it! How come he does it so much better than me?"


  1. Red, red, always red,
    though they crash,
    they're never dead,
    the feckers.

    Seamus Heaney

  2. There was always a red unmarked police car that clocked traffic on I-70 between Dayton and Indianapolis. Sneaky.

  3. Nice! Got a bit of a vilanellesque quality to it. I like that.

  4. This has a perfect tone and the rhyme fits the poem exactly. Well done!

  5. TFE, I don't believe Heaney ever wrote that. This is how he's so famous. People write brilliant poems and then attribute them to him.
    Hi Willow, over here they lie in wait where the speed limit suddenly goes down. Shooting fish in a barrel.
    Poetikat and Karen, God, I love praise. It makes me feel life is almost bearable. Thanks for your kind comments.

  6. Well here's some more! Liked it and made me laugh. Karen's right, the rhyme works well and drives (sorry) the poem on.
    I particularly liked that third verse, with the hanging (that thundered..

  7. HOWDY! really enjoyed this.. I'm no poet, but reading this had a classical sort of ring to it.. anyway, typical gards!

  8. And here's some praise from me! Loved it, the humour and the truth. Very nicely put together.

  9. Thank you all very much for the kind words. I'm actually dying to read the book now!!

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