Following my spectacular lack of success in Basil Bunting, comes news of another marvellous failure in the Tapestry of Bronze Ode to Demeter competition. Not commended, not mentioned in despatches. Zilch.
This crowd seeks to highlight Greek mythology and every year run a poetry competition eulogising a particular deity. This year it was Demeter or Ceres, the schizophrenic Goddess of Weetabix.
As I can never answer these sort of questions on Mastermind, I had to look her up. Not physically of course as she is entirely mythical. But, and this was probably vindication of the competition's ethos, I found out stuff that I hadn't known before.