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Sunday, October 28, 2012

The worst pop song ever?

Okay, I was thinking about this today and whenever people ask what is the worst song ever, they normally go for novelty records like The Birdie Song or Agadoo but for me, the creme de la creme has to be this effort from the Brotherhood of Man, which actually reached Number 1 in the UK pop charts in 1977.
For me, this song is so wrong on so many levels. Just take a look at the lyrics - 

Long ago high on a mountain in Mexico
lived a young shepherd boy Angelo
met a young girl and he loved her so
rich was she
came from a very high family
Angelo knew it could never be
they ran away to their destiny.

Running away together
running away forever
Running away from danger
running from every stranger
They knew it wasn't wrong
they found a love so strong
they took their lives that night and in the morning light
they found them on the sand
they saw them lying there hand in hand.

So, basically, the song is about a young shepherd boy in Mexico called Angelo who runs away with a young girl from a rich family, even though "he knows that their love could never be." Presumably he feels her family would not consider him worthy of their daughter. So, rather than giving her up selflessly, he inveigles her to run away from the mountain down to the coast and there they enter into a suicide pact and kill themselves. Both of them, if the writer of the song is to be believed, considered that their love was so strong, that a suicide pact was the only possible way out of their predicament.
Point number one - if Angelo loved this girl so selflessly and so strongly, why did he not hand her the chance of future happiness and simply piss off? And vice versa? 
Point number two - Angelo knew it could never be, so they ran far far away and killed themselves? Why? Why not kill themselves on the mountain and save their next of kin the task of carting their bodies back?
Point number three - they are "running away from danger" What danger? What could be more dangerous than dying? And why the need to avoid strangers? Surely its their family they should be avoiding?
Point number four - this is a tragedy about two young people, Angelo and ..erm.. a young girl from a high family. Not even worth naming. Angelo is "running away together." (what on earth does this mean?) His name is repeated ad nauseum (pun intended) throughout the song but there is no mention of the young wan's name? What kind of anti-feminine clap trap is this?
Point number five - if you are going to perform a song about a terrible double suicide, would you really do it with a big cheesey grin on your face and dancing around like you were in a bad seventies disco? 

Sorry, I just cannot believe a worse song ever got so high in the charts...


  1. Never was a band more cynical... hmm ABBA did well in the Eurovision so let's make a band just like them. Then... ABBA had a song called "Fernando" let's do a song just like that. Surprisingly no worldwide smash musical made about B of Man...

  2. Oh wow that IS very bad. And the choreography - yikes! Also, Brotherhood of Man? I guess it was supposed to be ironic with two female lead singers?