"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Saturday, March 31, 2012

I utterly reject the tribunal’s findings

I utterly reject the tribunal’s findings
and vow to clear my falsely-blackened name.
The Mahon diatribes
indicate that I took bribes
and have left me at the mercy of those curséd tabloid scribes.
But I never got those envelopes they claim.
History will absolve me of all blame.

Fifteen years of the most exhaustive enquiries
but I’ll reject their findings with a wave.
Oh sure, there was confusion
over my alleged collusion
but in the end, they came to an erroneous conclusion.
That ain’t no way for judges to behave.
I shall protest my innocence to the grave.

I’m resigning from the party, not through guilt,
but to counter any disunity in the ranks.
(Though, in truth, they seem united
and a little too delighted
at the vicious way that I have been so vilified and slighted.
You’d think that I’d been out there robbing banks!
And, after all these years, no word of thanks.)

There’s not a scrap of truth whatsoever
in these allegations that have caused my fall.
Their darts are crude and aimless,
their imputations shameless.
Anyone who knows me knows full well that I am blameless.
My head’s held high, I’ll go on walking tall –
I’m an honest politician after all.


  1. Ooh, I've missed you! No one else does rhythm, rhyme and flow quite like you.

  2. If Bertie could write like that we might just forgive him! Might...

  3. JoAnne, you flatterer!
    Thanks DFTP
    Brian - and well done to you on your recent successes - First Cut, Bare Hands etc!