I utterly reject the tribunal’s findings
and vow to clear my falsely-blackened name.
The Mahon diatribes
indicate that I took bribes
and have left me at the mercy of those curséd tabloid scribes.
But I never got those envelopes they claim.
History will absolve me of all blame.
Fifteen years of the most exhaustive enquiries
but I’ll reject their findings with a wave.
Oh sure, there was confusion
over my alleged collusion
but in the end, they came to an erroneous conclusion.
That ain’t no way for judges to behave.
I shall protest my innocence to the grave.
I’m resigning from the party, not through guilt,
but to counter any disunity in the ranks.
(Though, in truth, they seem united
and a little too delighted
at the vicious way that I have been so vilified and slighted.
You’d think that I’d been out there robbing banks!
And, after all these years, no word of thanks.)
There’s not a scrap of truth whatsoever
in these allegations that have caused my fall.
Their darts are crude and aimless,
their imputations shameless.
Anyone who knows me knows full well that I am blameless.
My head’s held high, I’ll go on walking tall –
I’m an honest politician after all.