"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Report Card 2011

And so this is New Year's Day and what have you done?
Another year over - a new one just begun

So John Lennon nearly wrote and so I'll self-indulgently pick out my poetical successes and failures of the last year and see exactly how I'm doing!


  • Thicker than water was nominated for the WOW awards

  • Dachstein Ice Cave was longlisted for the Plough Prize Short Poem category

  • Wasting Energy was longlisted in the Plough Prize Poems for Children category

  • The Insect Man came 4th in the Plough Prize Poems for Children category and appeared in the subsequent anthology

  • The victims have been named was Commended in the Sentinel Quarterly Poetry Competition

  • Where do old cartoon characters go and Yakoumi were Commended in the Strokestown Percy French Humorous Poetry competition

  • Old won the Strokestown Percy French Humorous Poetry competition

  • Toast was Commended in the Lighten Up Online competition 13

  • A black-suited revolution was commended in the Poetry on the Lake competition and appeared in the subsequent anthology

  • One's visit to the former colony of Ireland was shortlisted in the Boyne Writers Swift Satire competition

  • Butterfly came second in the Northanmpton Poetry Society Humorous Verse competition

  • Opprobrium was longlisted in the Flash 500 Humorous Verse competition

  • A very mediaeval redundancy was shortlisted in the Phizzfest Poetry competition and appeared in the subsequent anthology

  • Church bell in Codalet was Highly Commended in the Dromineer Literary Festival competition

  • Ugolino's lament came 4th in the Tullamore Agricultural Show poetry competition. The grapevine was highly commended in the same competition

  • Publisher oh publisher was mentioned in dispatches in Lighten up Online's Rejection competition

  • Macbeth's lost soliloquy Act i Scene iii was shortlisted in the Baz Theatre Company poetry competition

  • The State pathologist finished 3rd in the Flash 500 quarterly poetry competition

  • Ctrl Alt Delete finished second in the Francis Ledwidge Poetry Awards and has thus been nominated for the Forward Prize

  • Natural causes (its just a rumour) made the final of the Baffle Bard competition


  • Vandalism and The howling were published in the Shot Glass Journal

  • A throwing action was published in Revival #18

  • Christmas in Dachau 1944 was published in Danse Macabre

  • Consider the Tree was selected for the UpStarts poster competition

  • The rat beneath the shed was published in Boyne Berries #9

  • Miracle of nature appeared in Lighten up Online #14

  • The life and death of a crooked line was anthologised in 50 fun poems for Children

  • Dachstein Ice Cave, The howling and In the dead of night were published in Snakeskin July issue

  • For Pablo Casals appeared in Boyne Berries #10

  • From the tee to the green was published in Poetry 24

  • The storm, The grapevine and Dark circles were published in Shot Glass Journal. The first two were nominated for the Pushcart Prize (US)

  • Ultimatum came out in Lighten Up Online

  • Urban poet was published in Revival #21

  • Liberation appeared in Poetry 24

  • Buoyancy was published in Bare Hands

  • Con Martin - Mr Versatility appears in Simon Goodyear's book Memories are made in Aston

  • Self-published Sofas in a Cornfield, a collection of science-fiction verse on Lulu. Also Cornwall - Twenty Poems, mainly serious verse.

Farewell to

  • The Community Voice, Dublin 15's local paper, for whom I wrote a monthly 1000 word article from 2003 to October 2011, when it ceased.

  • The Poetry Bus community of bloggers, who provided me with so much impetus to write and a host of good friends. I wish it, and Peadar, every success in its new guise.

Failed yet again

  • to get into the Stinging Fly or Southword or Crannog

  • to get noticed in iYeats, the Strokestown Poetry Prize, Windows Publications, the Welsh Poetry competition, the Bridport or Poet of Fingal competitions

Okay, done and dusted. Onward, Athos, to 2012. Happy New Year to all and may you all cast a literary shadow.


  1. bloomin eck! prolific on a stick. congrats on all the successees. all the best things for the new year ;)

  2. You should be so proud of yourself, Peter. What an impressive year. May 2012 be even more productive and rewarding for you.

  3. thats an amazing year Peter, could you be anymore prolific :) Have a great 2012!

  4. And that's not even including the world record breaking 6 IPYPIASMs in one day!
    Whatta year

  5. Top marks for dedication and application!
    Have a great 2012.

  6. That's some list!Some major hits there, very well done. Buoyancy is a lovely poem.Can 'ctrl alt delete' be seen online anywhere? (potential Forward Prize? Wow!)
    The bloggers are still there Peter, i think the ensuing poetry jam is still going too! Get in!
    Or join my weekly poetrygeist on FB. (if i get it going!) Happy New Year!

  7. Thanks to you all - I think my modus operandi is that if I spray indiscriminately, something somewhere might take root!

  8. This is an amazing achievement list. I'm so proud of you I could bust. I want to read every one of those poems. You're going to have to do something about that in the way of linking....I don't know, but show me how to read those winners. Your indiscriminate spraying technique would be nothing without the talent with which you load your weapon, Pete.

  9. P.S. thank also for telling us about various competitions. I entered the Ode to Olympians one recently with an Artemis poem I wrote for the Poetry Bus once. I save those posts of yours that describe the competitions. They are jewels to me, although my weapon is feebly loaded and my aim is not terribly true. You are so inspiring.

  10. Inspirational! great stuff, knock em dead.

  11. Agog. I suspect you of wearing your underpants over your trousers.