"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Humorous poetry? What's that?

Stirring the Jam this week is Evelyn from Boston (probably Ma rather than Lincolnshire) who needs a dollop of humour to add to the ingredients. I'm sorry, I don't do humour. You will have to be content with a despondent dirge about unfaithfulness.

My wife is in the cellar

My wife is in the cellar
with her latest fancy feller
and no-one knows about it, except me.
I’m in a quandary whether
I should leave them there together
or if I should go down there after tea.

So sensual and so sultry
with a penchant for adult’ry –
five years ago we had such wedded bliss
but she relished all the danger
of liaisons with a stranger
and now it seems I’ve been reduced to this.

Her sexual capacity
was matched by her voracity
while once a week is perfect for myself,
so she’d entertain her men friends,
casual callers and her pen-friends,
while I was in the kitchen drying delph.

Yes, my wife is in the cellar
with her latest fancy feller
and there they will remain for evermore,
entwined in love’s embrace,
a look of shock upon each face,
a good two feet beneath the cellar floor.


21 comments:

  1. haha...a little poe-ish there at the end...nice job saving the give away to the end as def was wondering why you would put up with it..smiles.

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  2. A good poem full of humor and finally murder-revenge. In the tradition of the murder ballad, sort of. I really like this one.

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  3. I should add that it's good to have something daring and meaty out there, not politically correct. Oddly refreshing.

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  4. this is most CERTAINLY my kind of funny...

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  5. You don't do humor? Ha - good one! As is the poem. I love a little dark humor now and then.

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  6. Brian, many thanks, though as I tend to murder my wife in most of my poems....
    TS - Thanks for that - meaty is quite a good adjective in the circumstances
    Evelyn - Glad you liked it.
    Mary of the talking chicken, many thanks for the kind comment

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  7. I was going to say that I fear for your wife. Does she ever give you suggestions on new ways to murder her? Ha!

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  8. ... your poem would be great set to music! I mean really great!

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  9. lol- This is hilarious and reads well, too.

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  10. hahah:) very fun and lively. i agree with brian, had a dark poe energy to it i enjoyed very much.

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  11. Brillaint, a great image to end on, does your wife not get a bit nervous?

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  12. This made me grin and fill up with a lovely warm wicked feeling that is ever so delicious. Doubleplusgood, sir.

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  13. I most definitely agree with Helen! In fact, when I started reading, I could already hear the melody in my head!! Bravo!! Now take a bow!!

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  14. Simulataneously hilarious and dark. Just what I've come to expect from you poems. JOD

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  15. Ah, Peter, your meter excels. I loved some of those rhymes too (capacity and voracity spring to mind). You croaked her exceptionally well this time.

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  16. creative and cool humor..

    loved the word flow.

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  17. sultry/ adult'ry
    whee!
    (the post code is "murdah", too appropro)

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  18. Ah, many thanks for your too kind comments. The encouragement is priceless.

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  19. Funny poem! Two very believable characters as well.

    http://jackedwardspoetry.blogspot.com/2011/09/brothers.html

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  20. I'm oozing backward through your blog, loving it. I find humor to be the most difficult write, and do enjoy reading those who do it well.

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