"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Friday, July 29, 2011


There's still five months to go to International Put Your Poem in a Shop Month, Mme Cushions little baby (well, her other little baby) but what is a crap poet to do when bored out of his skull on a two and a half hour flight back from Perpignan?
Yes, as the only celebrant of International Put Your Poem in an aeroplane month, I callously and wilfully defaced not only the Cara Inflight magazine but the sick bag too. God, how immature!

Lines written in the Aer Lingus Inflight magazine Cara

(on an article titled “48 hours in Bath”)

48 hours in Bath? Uncanny
how you come out like your granny.

(on an article about the wonders of Dubrovnik)

Croatia, of course, is
the place for divorces,
so beware, if you’re seeking to flit.
So many fly out
with their marriage out,
and they go to Dubrovnik, then Split.

(on an article with the first line “Polish people never dance”)

Polish people never dance
under any circumstance.
Shame this most romantic art
has left the people poles apart.

(on an article profiling cabin crew member Heather Worrall)

Hi! My name is Heather Worrall.
Ogling me is quite immoral.

Lines written on an Aer Lingus Sick Bag

Dear passenger,
please don’t be thinking
there’s no harm in inflight drinking.
This bag is not that strong – far from it! –
so kindly moderate your vomit.


  1. Lolol coincidentally my parents are going to spend nearly a week in bath in the near future

  2. HA! Quite creative Peter. :D

  3. great stuff - inflight magazines need livening up

  4. Wish my flight had only been a couple of hours! I am possibly the worst person on earth to fly with... pity my other half!

  5. You could possibly be the first (er, only) person to ever have penned a poem on a sick-bag. You do know that, don't you?

    I wonder if that made them think twice.

  6. I think 'Moderate your vomit' should be written on all sick bags, what a fun post.