"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Friday, October 22, 2010

Meeting on the Poetry Bus

Le chauffeur du bus poetique ce semaine est l'Argent provocateur. That just about exhausts my schoolboy French, so we will continue in English. This week for Argent has been fraught with "Meetings Bloody Meetings" (cue U2) and he wants us to use this as our theme.
I have to endure meetings in work but mostly they are participatory and vaguely bearable. However, as part of my work for the local paper, I used to have to attend the local subdivision meetings of Fingal County Council (Castleknock and Mulhuddart wards) and here you had the biggest amount of drivel ever without being allowed to contribute!
Therefore, the title of my Poetry Bus ticket this week is

Yet another Council meeting

I’m here at yet another Council meeting
To listen to the wailing and self-pity,
To hear the lonely councillors all bleating
About the lack of money in the kitty.
Each week, they pray that some new Walter Mitty
Will rise and offer all a fulsome greeting.
For now though, life is practical and gritty
Down here at yet another Council meeting.

Oh still, my heart, from wild and joyful beating,
When viewing these fine shapers of the city.
The arguments, so often self-defeating,
Hold sentiments that are not very pretty.
Meanwhile I’m trying hard to write a ditty
But humour in this chamber is too fleeting.
Sadly I don’t feel the slightest witty,
Attending yet another Council meeting.

According to the maintenance committee,
Two per cent of homes lack central heating.
They state, descending to the nitty-gritty,
They’re worried ‘bout the septic tanks they’re treating.
Is any place in Christendom more shitty,
Considering the crap that they’re excreting?
I’d rather go and fondle Conway Twitty
Than sit through yet another Council meeting.

This is being posted early because we're heading down to Loughrea for the Baffle Festival tomorrow and won't be back till late Monday


  1. Love it, Peter! Anybody who can write about Walter Mitty and Conway Twitty in the same poem has my vote! Enjoy your holiday -- you just made my weekend! ;-)

  2. Well done on all those rhymes! Top stuff.

  3. Extravagant rhyming! Love it!

  4. feckin councils!... the only good thing about them is this poem!

  5. Dear me, I think if I'm ever invited to a Council meeting, the thing to do is flee. Great poem!

  6. Brilliant. Great rhyming. Best of luck to you and Conway.

  7. I know just how hard it is, not only to get the words to rhyme, but to keep to strict spellings and find enough of them to make it to the finish line! You always excell at this and somehow manage to make it sound uncontrived and succeed at making us laugh. Another winner!