"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Friday, August 27, 2010

Catching the school bus

It being the last week of August, what other kind of poetry bus would we be catching? Bags I sit next to Notcher.
Yes, the inimitable schoolmarm herself, Karen, is at the wheel this week and has asked us for a poem on school. I used to live in a small village miles from anywhere and was barred from the school bus for three years for nicking the driver's fags (but only when that particular driver was driving)
Karen, its okay, I'm a reformed character...

I will arise and go now

I will arise and go now, and go to Classroom 3,
and forty winks have there, while seated down the back;
for Farreller will drone on like a bumbling honey bee
about potatoes and how they once turned black.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow.
Forty golden minutes till the lunchtime bell rings;
I hope that gobshyte Byrner doesn’t stab me in the toe
with one of those compassy things.

I will arise and go now, to Hist’ry I will stray,
to hear a lengthy soliloquy on famine lore;
while I lean back against the wall and drift away,
I hope he does not hear me snore.


  1. Lol! Brill :) Though ironically it was Yeats rather than history that made me feel that way...

  2. One of your best Pete.Compasses! Weapons of maths instruction.

  3. excellent, twas exactly that same feeling in double classes of anything I had.
    great stuff.

  4. You know I liked school because I was good at it (& a goody two shoes as well), but I always envied those boys who sat in the back... Of course, my name was Wallace then & sometimes they seated us alphabetically so I ended up in the back & I thought it was delicious!

  5. Oh, I did enjoy that. Brilliantly done!

  6. There was once a comedy actor named Jimmy Edwards who would have had the perfect comment for this - one of his catch phrases was "Wake up at the back there!" (He often played the role of a school teacher)... LOL :)

  7. hahaa - wonderfully written. I enjoyed this.

  8. Great parody. I have vivid memories of trying to stay awake when I was at school - particularly in the afternoons. Odd that schools ban knives and yet tell everyone to buy a compass. I don't suppose compasses are cool.

  9. Really enjoyable. I never dropped off at school but, managed it a number of times at work, during pointless meetings.

  10. Great. Parody par excellence. Wonder if Yeats was watching you?

  11. oh god... I'd forgotten about the endless boredom induced by monotone un-interested teachers... I sometimes wonder how any of us managed to learn anything from those little town schools!
    Love the Yeats approach and your usual expertise in weaving humourous rhyme galore :-D

  12. What a charming funny piece of writing! For me it was algebra .. not the best subject for nodding off.

    (thanks for the lovely complement)

  13. What a hoot! Clever, witty and soooo true!

  14. Aw, I love lecturing on famines and dearth. I have also droned on sufficiently almost to put myself to sleep! Very clever, Peter.

  15. I once stuck one of those compassy things under my own thumbnail while sitting at my desk in utter boredom. It was an accident, but you get the point.

    Loved it!


  16. . . . for peace comes dropping slow is such a beautiful phrase that it deserves a book between its titled covers!

    This poem made me smile. :)

  17. So funny, Peter! You do parody and humor so well!