The highly accomplished Niamh Bagnell - radio presenter, poet, performer, gardener etc - is running this week's poetry bus excursion this week and who knows where we'll end up. The task this week is to write about confusion, or write something confusing. This is my poor effort. Please don't expect a punchline because there isn't one.
Confusion
Sometimes I wake.
Sometimes I keep on dreaming.
At times it seems I'm halfway in between.
It's hard to break
my sweet subconscious streaming
where all things are and all things might have been.
When I'm adrift
and floating, lost and aimless,
confusion melts like dewdrops on the grass.
There is no rift
between the named and nameless,
between the past and what is yet to pass.
And when grey light
through neutral blinds come streaming,
the mist outside this building thick and dense,
I crave the night
and hours of blissful dreaming
where everything appears to make such sense.
Clicka on da linka above for more confusion
This is such deceptive piece it feel soft and gentle but has such a deepness, such reach...
ReplyDelete"At times it seems I'm halfway in between"
This is such a great line it really does express to me confusion in such an understated manner.
"I crave the night
and hours of blissful dreaming
where everything appears to make such sense."
Just so having only experienced this vicariously watching a loved one strugle this is spot on.
Your writing has caused me to reflect on my mother and the Alzheimer's she struggled with during the last years of her life. You have quite beautifully described what may have been what she was seeking during the dark nights.
ReplyDeleteI like this Pete.Some lovely lines.The rhymes are gentle and soothing.It's thoughtful reflective and refreshing.And in some ways it does have a punchline, if not a funny one.It's a GOAL!
ReplyDeleteThere was too a punchline! I like the structure of this, very subtle. A most enjopyable read.
ReplyDeleteI've had times in my life where I just craved sleep and dreams. Of course, afterward I realized that I had been going through a depression. This poem describes that feeling of drifting along and encountering random dreams perfectly.
ReplyDeleteHi Peter,
ReplyDeleteThere is an effortless flow and sense of form here. I love these lines - 'There is no rift
between the named and nameless,
between the past and what is yet to pass.' That is a really beautiful finish to that stanza.
"my sweet subconscious streaming
ReplyDeletewhere all things are and all things might have been"--true to every word. Subconscious mind has all the answers.Sometimes a sound sleep gives those answers through a dream. Perfectly captured!!
my sweet subconscious streaming
ReplyDeletewhere all things are and all things might have been. Subconscious mind has all the answers.
This is beautiful, Peter, and I agree with Gwei Mui - deceptive; the ease and flow conceal such depth. Loved it, wonderful structure, word choice and rhyme.
ReplyDeleteI like this, there's a really strong yet effortless looking structure to it, and i enjoy the sentiment, the place where everything makes sense. Nice one
ReplyDeletethis is a really touching poem, and I love the rhythm, the rhyme, the dreamy pace.. don't know how you could call this a 'poor' effort, lol!
ReplyDeleteThere is no rift
ReplyDeletebetween the named and nameless
That sounds like an extemely good description of a poet's take on life as a whole...
I think we were on the same stream of consciousness this week, Peter. This is lovely though and has a really melodic feel for me - almost like a sad lullaby.
ReplyDeleteKat
Lovely. Peter, this is really smooth - lulling, sad and respectful. Reminds us of how confusion isn't always a flurry of thought, yet no less impactful for that. Very moving.
ReplyDeleteLike Helen, I find your poem redolent of my demented mother's mind. If there is any poverty in this, it is inherent to the nature of dementia, the loss of knowing where one is in time and space, the loss of coherent thought.
ReplyDeletePoetry Bus Ticket
Interesting building of the state of consciousness here. Nice.
ReplyDeleteThought this was great. Its rhythm was so soothing, I felt drowsey as if I was in that half sleep state. Excellently captured.
ReplyDelete