World Cup 2010 - Day 13

England 1 Slovenia 0 (Group C)

He stepped from the shadows, the rope in his hand,
As twilight descended to gloom,
Determined to pull off the mission as planned,
Despite all the merchants of doom.

The walls of the prison reached up to the sky,
The sentries looked down from their posts.
The moon disappeared as dark clouds floated by
Like large and preponderous ghosts.

The watch on his wrist seemed unbearably loud,
And he blanched at the deafening noise,
But he strode to the wall with a purpose unbowed,
As he quickly recovered his poise.

He knew that he’d only get one single chance,
There wouldn’t be time for a second.
He grasped the rough coils and adjusted his stance,
As his moment of destiny beckoned.

Up, up flew the rope like a flickering snake,
Up, up through the chill autumn night.
The whole enterprise in that throw was at stake,
And he prayed it would turn out all right.

But his aim, like his heart was unerring and true,
And success the reward for his hope.
Though he waited in doubt for a second or two,
Till he felt a sharp tug on the rope.

Way up in the half-light, a figure appeared,
Silhouetted against the night sky.
And then in an instant the dark storm clouds cleared,
As the moon lit the scene from on high.

Down the long rope came the first blackened shape,
A second, then shortly a third,
Till all of the gang had made good their escape,
No longer in anguish interred.

As they sat in the van, speeding through the dark town,
Wayne Rooney sat cracking his joints.
“What’s that in the bag, boss?” he asked with a frown,
And Fabio said, “It’s three points.”

Back home in England, the country was shocked
To read the incredible tale.
But legend will tell opportunity knocked,
And Jermaine got the lads out of jail.


Algeria 0 USA 1 (Group C)

Don’t you love the excitement of last minute goals
When fans ring the Devil to barter their souls?
When the chance is created
And all breath is bated,
And your rivals are crumpled and so devastated?

Don’t you love the excitement of last minute winners
When prayers of atonement rise up from the sinners?
When hearts start to flutter
And sceptics all mutter
And somebody’s hopes are despatched to the gutter?

Don’t you love the excitement of last minute screamers,
Confounding the cynics and lifting the dreamers?
USA were delighted.
Ecstatic, excited
Slovenian prayers were most cruelly blighted.


Germany 1 Ghana 0 (Group D)

Oh, let me be your Mertesacher, baby,
I’ll fight off each attacker for your hand.
They will slip on a banana
If they come at me like Ghana.
Oh let me be your Mertesacher,
I would even hold off Kaka,
Let me be your Mertesacher, babe.

Oh let me be your Bastian Schweinsteiger,
I would climb the Eiger for your love.
There are some who say I am
Just a little Phillip Lahm,
But I’m Bastian Schweinsteiger,
I’m as deadly as a tiger,
So let me be your Bastian Schweinsteiger.

I don’t want to be your Lucas Podolski,
Cos nothing I can think of rhymes with that.

Australia 2 Serbia 1 (Group D)

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

Keeper stuck out a limb, Tim
Keeper stuck out a limb.
But you smacked the ball past him, Tim,
Keeper stuck out a limb.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

A goal you’ll never forget, Brett,
A goal you’ll never forget,
Vidic was all upset, Brett,
‘Bout the goal you’ll never forget.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

You spilled a ball on the park, Mark,
You spilled a ball on the park.
I suppose it was getting dark, Mark,
When you spilled a ball on the park.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.

This tale wasn’t written by Grimm, Pim,
This tale wasn’t written by Grimm.
Your chances were always slim, Pim,
And this tale wasn’t written by Grimm.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport,
Tie me kangaroo down.