"Seven bums and fourteen legs,
a brazen ecstasy which begs
the question some of us are asking -
is Peter Goulding multi-tasking?"

Martin Parker, Editor, Lighten Up Online

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Poetry Bus

Thanks to the wonderful Argent for this week's poetry bus task. Write about a weird relation or about being lost. Fortunately I have a lot of weird relations.

Uncle Edward

We’re not allowed to mention Uncle Edward
Nor “farmyard assignations” (quote, unquote)
In our family tree, our uncle’s dead wood,
Since Aunt Clotilda caught him with that goat.
It would be a fantastic anecdote
(Bigamy with any quadruped would)
But the tale remains unspoken in my throat
‘Cos we’re not allowed to mention Uncle Edward.

(Ostracised for bestial compulsion,
He set up home with Nanny on St. Kilda.
Oh stranger, you might well express revulsion,
But then, you haven’t met our Aunt Clotilda)


  1. I am truly laughing out loud as I finish this! Uncle Edward was a randy old goat, huh? Great fun, this one.

  2. She's looks so beautiful there, Clotilda.
    and what a nice name.

  3. Oh, what fun! Edward/Dead wood. Classic! Hahahah. I'm putting up your link now.

  4. Beautiful photograph, magnificent poem.
    I was delighted by the happy ending on St Kilda - but surprised he chose a place that rhymed with his ex-wife...

  5. ha! a well told tale even though you can't mention Uncle Edward

  6. hahahahahahahahahahahaaa!!.. I thought everyone had at least one goat shagger in the family though!.. no?

  7. haha! Reminds me of a certain aunt in our family!